Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
