I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
