i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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