did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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