it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is Oprah even human
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
