Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
