somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
