Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
