Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
