i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
