love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
