I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
