I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
