I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
