these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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