awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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