Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.