It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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