I will die if light touches me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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