I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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