Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
