There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
