I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
