The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize