i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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