I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
