Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
