i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
