We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
