I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
