My girlfriend figured out who you are.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i think my cat just said my name.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
