I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
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I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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