i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am naked and annoyed.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
