I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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