Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
