If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
