I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we're chasing vodka with high fives
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
