if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
