wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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