The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize