My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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