I feel great
I just peed on a car
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
