friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
