can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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