worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
