Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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