3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.