Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
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It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
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while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.