honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.