he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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