So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
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I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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