Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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