Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Sober January is a disaster.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Randomize
