I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
