Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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