Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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