Just fell off a train. Bad.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
