Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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