Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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