No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
